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Balancing Work & Motherhood: the Journey Begins

October 2nd, 2009 by Emira · 23 Comments

Yes­ter­day I received a very top­i­cal and timely email in my inbox from one of my favourite email newslet­ters, Yoy­oBelly. The email, which you can read here, was all about Employ­ment Insur­ance in Canada for gals tak­ing time off to have a baby and for those of you work­ing in Canada and plan­ning for a mat leave it is a great resource. You see, here in Canada we get a year’s paid mater­nity leave, that is of course unless your self employed (though there’s a happy excep­tion for those of you for­tu­nate enough to live in Que­bec where the self-employed gal is eligible).

I’ve been think­ing a lot. A lot. About bal­anc­ing mater­nity leave, moth­er­hood and entre­pre­neur­ship for the last sev­eral months as after nearly 3 years of try­ing, my part­ner and I are expect­ing a wee one in Feb­ru­ary of this year. I’ve not been mak­ing this par­tic­u­larly well known on ye olde inter­nets up until now, though any­one who’s been pay­ing close atten­tion to the Smok­ing Lily blog would have picked up a clue. At first we were cau­tious due to a his­tory of mis­car­riage and a slightly rocky start, then I was frankly too damn sick to be both­ered to blog about it, but now I’m com­ing out of the fog and spend­ing a lot of time think­ing about how I’ll be jug­gling the world of busi­ness own­er­ship and moth­er­hood. I plan on shar­ing a lot of those thoughts, and the fan­tas­tic wis­dom I’ve been gath­er­ing from other gals who’ve been down this road before, here over the com­ing months/years as things unfold.

If you’re a mom bal­anc­ing self-employment or busi­ness own­er­ship with a lit­tle per­son (or peo­ple) in tow, I’d love to know what the biggest chal­lenges for you have been — from big pic­ture to smaller details — and if you have wis­dom to share I’m all ears. I’ll be reach­ing out to some of the mom/entrepreneur rock­stars in my uni­verse to gather wis­dom and hope­fully some­where along the line I’ll have some answers and not just a head full of ques­tions like I do now!

A final word. I have to admit that I’m also a lit­tle bit squea­mish about my shift­ing iden­tity from entre­pre­neur to mommy-entrepreneur. There’s an under­cur­rent in dis­course that belittles/discounts the con­tri­bu­tions of women in the busi­ness world already, and once we tack “mom” onto things it seems like that under­cur­rent gets a lit­tle louder. Wrestling with this iden­tity shift is a funny place for me to be as a) I’ve wanted to be a mom for a very, very long time and in no way see it as detract­ing from my iden­tity, b) the mom’s I know — whether they run their own busi­ness or not — are in no way a lesser group of women when it comes to bring­ing talent/strength and skills to the table. That said, I’m a bit ner­vous about being stuck in a new box, that I guess I don’t (yet any­way) see as my pri­mary defin­ing char­ac­ter­is­tic. It will all be a process I know, but I’d love to hear what some of you think on this topic as well.

Oh and one final thing. Now that I’m shar­ing my impend­ing moth­er­hood with the world, I have to point you all to a fab­u­lous new site for mom’s Off Beat Mama brought to the inter­nets by Ariel of Off Beat Bride fame, it’s a fab­u­lous read for those of us not so comfy with tra­di­tional par­ent­ing roles.

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Tags: Our Story · Thoughts

23 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Chookooloonks // Oct 2, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Con­grat­u­la­tions! As some­one who is both a mom, and who used your book when I launched my own busi­ness almost exactly 1 year ago, I have no doubt that you’re going to han­dle this with aplomb. Really, really.

    Very best wishes to you. And trust me: come Feb­ru­ary, you’ll see that the best has arrived. :)

    K.

  • 2 Jen MacCormack // Oct 2, 2009 at 10:26 am

    Yes I sec­ond that, congratulations!

    And as a work­ing woman who is plan­ning on hav­ing a baby very soon I look for­ward to learn­ing ways to achieve that bal­ance as well. It took me 38 years just to find that bal­ance in my life with­out a child!

    xoj

  • 3 Paula G // Oct 2, 2009 at 11:00 am

    Con­grat­u­la­tions Emira! So excited for you… I’m sure it’ll be a whole new journey…and who knows maybe another book ;-)

  • 4 Emira // Oct 2, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Thanks all. And Jen, ya, not so sure I’ve found that yet which may make this a bit more chal­leng­ing :) That said, the race is on!

  • 5 Sue Sinclair, Raspberry Kids // Oct 2, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Con­grat­u­la­tions once again Emira,
    We tried for quite a while as well and when it finally hap­pens, even though that is what you wanted all along, the real­ity starts to set­tle in and along with all the phys­i­cal changes you go through, you really won­der, ques­tion & fan­ta­size what your life will be like when the babe arrives. By fan­ta­size I mean FREAK OUT.

    The chal­lenges are many but the rewards are well worth it and the word “bal­ance” almost becomes laugh­able. Not sure there is such a thing. Some days I am a really good Mommy, other days I am really good at my busi­ness and some days when I am totally rock­ing it, I’m pretty good at both. I won’t scare you about the days when I am not good at either :-(

    My advice would be is that you can have it all. It is all about the choices you make and check the guilt at the door (although I am still pretty hard on myself at times).

    You already have an amaz­ing net­work and this will only con­tinue to grow with the new peo­ple you are bound to meet on the par­ent­hood train.

    I too read your book and cer­tainly hope in between feed­ings, dia­per changes, well baby check­ups and being in a delu­sional sleep deprived state a new book emerges.

    I can see the title now …

    Baby. The new Boss of You.
    Sue
    Sue Sin­clair
    Chief Exec­u­tive Mom, Rasp­berry Kids

    On the Web: http://www.raspberrykids.com
    Read our Blog: http://blog.raspberrykids.com
    Tweet with Us: http://www.twitter.com/raspberrykids
    Become a fan: http://www.facebook.com/RaspberryKids
    More details: http://www.raspberrykids.tel

  • 6 dusty // Oct 2, 2009 at 11:47 am

    great arti­cle. and would like to send out a quiet hum­ble shout-out to all the dads/husbands that sup­port 100% their won­der­ful partners/momtrepreneurs/entrepreneurs (or how­ever you define your­self) in their quest to bal­ance their careers with moth­er­hood, a for­mi­da­ble task at the best of times.

    women are indeed chart­ing new ter­ri­tory and the par­a­digm shifts abound, as men are also re-learning what it means to be a dad and a part­ner in this new and very excit­ing cli­mate in which we are rais­ing our children.

    the future looks bright indeed.

    with light

  • 7 Amber // Oct 2, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Con­grat­u­la­tions! And thanks for link­ing to my arti­cle on yoyobelly. :)

    Bal­anc­ing moth­er­hood is hard. And you’re right, there is still sort of a stigma around moth­er­hood. But I believe it’s so totally worth it. And I also believe that we’re teach­ing our kids a valu­able les­son and mak­ing it just a lit­tle bit eas­ier on them in the process. By just doing what we do, we change the world for the better.

  • 8 Kris Klaasen // Oct 2, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Con­grats Emira!

    I’ll share some of my insights from the dad side of being an busi­ness owner /entrepreneur and a par­ent as time goes on. ;-)

  • 9 Megan // Oct 2, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Emira con­grat­u­la­tions! I’m so very happy for you all!

  • 10 Ducky // Oct 2, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Con­grat­u­la­tions!! How exciting!

  • 11 Stacelynn // Oct 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Con­grats Emira! I went through the same emo­tions but eleven years into this par­ent­ing thing I now know I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I got to do the full-on attach­ment par­ent­ing and extended breast­feed­ing & still have a thriv­ing career. Tir­ing yes, but my totally cool daugh­ter (well I think so any­way ;) has been raised wit­ness­ing her mom run a suc­cess­ful busi­ness and I know that has con­tributed pos­i­tively to her view of what women are capa­ble of. You go girl! We’re all here to sup­port you…

  • 12 pam chaloult // Oct 2, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Emira,
    I am soooo happy for you! Con­grat­u­la­tions to you both. This jour­ney of self dis­cov­ery as a new mom is some­thing that is so filled with emo­tions that it’s some­times hard to put into words.

    Would love to chat at some point soon and have you meet miss olivia, too.

    Con­grats! xo

  • 13 Mya // Oct 2, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    New iden­tity: MOM-preneur. You’ll never look back. Con­grats, so excit­ing!
    Mya

  • 14 Erin // Oct 3, 2009 at 6:24 am

    Con­grats, I know you will take this adven­ture and run with it! How exciting.

    I have been an entre­pre­neur since right after my son was born 3 years ago. I started my busi­ness think­ing that, like most peo­ple, work­ing from home and being a mom was going to be the best thing I’ve ever done, soon to real­ize that I am only human not super human.

    Make sure that you keep work and baby sep­a­rate. Try­ing to entwine the two is frus­trat­ing and rarely leads to feel­ing like your in con­trol. I work from home but real­ize when my lit­tle one at 1 was not ben­e­fit­ing from me work­ing all day and him sit­ting in from on some blocks or the tv he needed real inter­act­ing not just in spurts when I wasn’t busy at the moment. Putting him in day­care a cou­ple hours a week was great for him and I and then his grand­mother watches him 2 days a week. This way I get all my work done dur­ing the day and he gets my full atten­tion when he’s home.

    Again, good luck and I can’t wait to read about your adventure!

  • 15 Becky // Oct 3, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Wel­come to the adven­ture! I hear you loud and clear on the iden­tity shift. Like you, I had a very strong call­ing to be a mom, and I also have gifts that I real­ized need to be devel­oped and shared. Thus far, mom and entre­pre­neur have merged into a busi­ness plan I hope to launch this year. It’s aimed at sup­port­ing par­ents of all kinds sort out who we are (or re-discover who was there in the first place) in this crazy process of par­ent­hood. Even from the time you start think­ing of being a par­ent, you begin to tran­si­tion so many parts of your­self in unique ways. Who we are on the “other” side is a meld­ing of the per­son we were and who we become as a mom. Being a par­ent enhances your iden­tity, even though it can be a bit of con­fus­ing place to be at first. That lit­tle per­son just rocks your world, in a good way.

    Your book and blog have been a huge resource and inspi­ra­tion as I go about daily life with an almost two-year-old and bring­ing this busi­ness alive. So, thank you! And may I share my pro­to­types with you? I’d love your feedback.

  • 16 Ariel // Oct 4, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Con­grat­u­la­tions! (Oh, and thanks for the link to offbeatmama.com :)

    It’s inter­est­ing because in set­ting up off­beat­mama, one of the biggest issues on my mind was my own preg­nancy and mater­nity. There was a lot of reader inter­est in the new site, but I was imme­di­ately aware that launch­ing a new web busi­ness ven­ture right before start­ing mater­nity leave was a recipe for disaster.

    One of the first deci­sions I made about the site was that much of the work would have to be del­e­gated … which is, uh, CHALLENGING for me to say that least. But it was a great pre-parenthood exer­cise in ask­ing for help and rec­og­niz­ing my own need for bal­anc­ing imme­di­ate ambi­tions with the demands of impend­ing motherhood.

    Any­way — con­grat­u­la­tions again, and here’s to the del­i­cate bal­ance of moth­er­hood and self-employment!

  • 17 Stephanie Daga // Oct 4, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Con­grat­u­la­tions Emira!

    As a mom and an entre­pre­neur, I think the best piece of advice I can give to you is this:

    Do not let any­one tell you how to par­ent. (And for that mat­ter, do not let any­one tell you how to run your busi­ness). Accept advice, lis­ten to oth­ers tri­als and tribs, but in the end, you par­ent the way you feel works best for you and baby.

    I come from a world of a mom and a mom in law who do not under­stand what being an entre­pre­neur means (or what it takes to be suc­cess­ful one). I get a lot of “think about your child first”; “you pay atten­tion to your clients more than you do your child”. I know in my heart, that I do every­thing for my two chil­dren. And last time I checked, me, my kids, and my hubby, were happy as a fam­ily. Nobody will know the dynamic of your fam­ily bet­ter than you … so just lis­ten to yourself.

    Chil­dren are an end­less source of inspi­ra­tion. I expect that when the time comes for you to “return to work” you will be full of new and excit­ing ideas!

    Again, con­grat­u­la­tions!
    Stephanie Daga
    stephanie@blushpretty.com
    http://www.blushpretty.com

    (I love your book!)

  • 18 Laurie // Oct 7, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Con­grat­u­la­tions! Being a mom-preneur is amaz­ing and over­whelm­ing, but so worth it! My biggest chal­lenge in run­ning a busi­ness and being a mom has been admit­ting I need help and phone calls, lol. So hard to find time for pro­fes­sional sound­ing biz calls with a lit­tle one around, but that’s where the whole accept­ing help or find­ing day­care comes in handy!!

  • 19 Curing The Content Blues – 15 Fabulous Niche Bloggers // Oct 9, 2009 at 8:19 am

    […] Bal­anc­ing Work & Moth­er­hood: the Jour­ney Begins […]

  • 20 Felicia Lee // Oct 9, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Hi Emira

    Con­grat­u­la­tions! I think the hard­est thing for me is want­ing to have it all on both the busi­ness and the mom front, and accept­ing that you CAN have it all, just not all at the same time.

    And cer­tainly con­nect­ing with other mom entre­pre­neurs that know exactly what my strug­gles are helps me keep the ups/downs in perspective.

    I wouldn’t trade being a mom for any­thing else!

    cheers,
    Feli­cia Lee
    vancouver@enterprisingmomsnetwork.com
    http://www.enterprisingmomsnetwork.com/vancouver.html
    http://www.twitter.com/vanEMN

  • 21 Suzanne // Oct 10, 2009 at 7:32 am

    First of all con­grat­u­la­tions.
    I’m quite sure that you will man­age well, because if you can bal­ance work with your own life, you are already so much fur­ther than most mom­mies.
    I have tried to set up some busi­ness of my own in the last five years, since I became a mom and just can­not moti­vate myself enough to work, while being at home with kids. Some­how I’m more a mom than an entre­pre­neur.
    I’m still try­ing to set up some­thing, while my sec­ond one will be born next month. And I’m quite sure that as soon as I set eyes on the lit­tlest addi­tion to the fam­ily, entre­pre­neur­ship will not be impor­tant any more.
    If you find any ways to keep focused on work­ing, let me know!

  • 22 Mattie // Oct 11, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Con­grats. Soon you will be wear­ing your heart on your sleeve!

    The one thing that I find chal­leng­ing is really lis­ten­ing to my kids when I have a dead­line. So I make lots of lists in dif­fer­ent books. One for busi­ness and the other for fam­ily stuff. This way when I get thoughts/ideas. I write them down so that I don’t have to be pre­oc­cu­pied when I am on mummy time.

    mat­tie
    mattiealamode.com

  • 23 Juliette // Oct 15, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Con­grats Emira! I strug­gled a lot with fig­ur­ing out how to keep every­thing afloat with my daugh­ter when she was born 3 years ago and what I learned is that try­ing to take care of a baby f/t and run a busi­ness is pretty insane. I’d rec­om­mend get­ting help with one or the other and ini­tially you might find get­ting help with the biz is the bet­ter route. For me, as she got older, get­ting her in a day­care she really enjoys has given me back the bal­ance I need and the activ­ity and learnign she craves. Just remem­ber, they do grow up fast and things keep get­ting eas­ier!
    Best of Luck!

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